Because Myths are living forever
by veronique2
Summary: Bagoas wondered about Hephaistion and Alexander found out what Hephaistion's main dream and achievement were.
1. chapter 1

Title: Because Myths are living forever

Authors : veronique

Email address:kyomine2002yahoo.fr

Category:romance

Pairing: Alexander/Hephaistion

Date:06/03/2005

Feedback: please, but if you don't like it, be constructive , I don't want to read sarcasm or snarks.

Archive: if you want I'm okay

Rating:nc 13

Disclaimer: I don't own them. They're characters belonging to Warner Brothers Pictures, to Oliver Stone, to my imagination, and to the ages. This is a work of a fan, done for no remuneration save the satisfaction of the work.

Special thanks to dreamer46 and Rothalion ;) .

Summary: Bagoas wondered about Hephaistion and Alexander found out what Hephaistion's main dream and achievement were.

Warnings: I based my characters on my interpretation of the movie.  
It's a fanfiction based on the movie and the movie only.  
Particular warning for this fic: This fic is, like I said, based on  
the movie. I see Hephaistion as a strong character who possessed both  
good and bad qualities.  
My portrayal of him is not black and white, but gray. Remember it's a fiction and a  
fiction only.

Thanks for reading the warnings.

Because Myths are living forever

Prologue

Alexander and Hephaistion were in a cave. The young teenagers had just finished their drawings. Alexander had painted Bucephalos and Hephaistion, Alexander's portrait, with him stroking the beautiful horse. The painting depicted what he'd seen when he had watched the prince telling the frightened horse not be afraid of their shadow. Alexander wasn't as talented as Hephaistion at drawing but he did well enough that it was obvious he painted a horse. They had decided to paint Bucephalos on the cave's wall to commemorate Alexander's taming of him just a few days ago.

The drawings done, Alexander signed his work and wrote the date. Hephaistion looked at him proudly but didn't sign his portrait like his friend had done. The prince was waiting for him to do it but Hephaistion was already walking calmly toward the exit.

"Hephaistion! Wait! You didn't sign your drawing." Said Alexander.

Hephaistion turned back to his young lover. "Oh, but I did."

Alexander frowned and looked at the painting again and didn't see his best friend's sign.

" I don't see it, you didn't sign it. You have to sign it or one day, if people should discover our drawings, they will give all the credit to me."

Hephaistion looked at it again. He smiled. " No they won't, besides I did sign it."

Alexander looked carefully again. "I still don't see it; people will be confused just as I am now Hephaistion."

"They will see that there are two different styles here." He came closer to the drawing and put his finger on Alexander's portrait. "Look Alexander, I wrote an H pattern on your cloak's medallion."

Alexander looked at the 'H'. He didn't know what to think about it.

" Huh... why did you sign it this way Hephaistion?"

" Because Alexander, it's more interesting that way.'"

" What do you mean?"

" I won't tell you!" Hephaistion teased.

" What? Why?" asked a frustrated Alexander.

" It's my secret." Grinned Hephaistion enjoying Alexander's obvious confusion. He knew that his friend hated to be denied.

Alexander crossed his arms, highly annoyed and berated Hephaistion. " I thought we would have no secrets between us, Hephaistion."

" Of course we don't." Agreed Hephaistion with a smile.

" But you just told me you have one." Said Alexander already all upset.

Hephaistion came closer to his friend took his hand and kissed it tenderly.

"Don't be upset Alexander. In due time, you will find out what is it, because we are soul mates aren't we?"

" Of course." Nodded Alexander

Hephaistion smiled. " I love you my Alexander." He said, and kissed him on the lips this time.

A few moments later Hephaistion broke off the kiss and walked back to the exit. Alexander frowned dejectedly and followed him.

" I love you too Hephaistion but I think it would be better if you told me of this secret now." He berated his friend as he followed the taller boy. He was still very curious about it.

Hephaistion simply ignored his beloved .

" This is unfair." Whined Alexander frustrated, but not yet angry at his lover. The prince liked being challenged and he already promised himself to do his best to find out what was Hephaistion's secret was.

Hephaistion took Alexander's hand in his and they returned to the Palace. He kept his secret, convinced that sooner or later Alexander would be able to figure it out.


	2. Chapter 2

3 months ago, they'd conquered Persia and discovered the beauty of Babylon. Alexander was still searching for Darius and missed his best friend Hephaistion who had been gone for two and a half months on a mission to supervise the creation of a new Alexandria.

Bagoas watched his king who was standing near the window. He felt loved and lucky that Alexander had taken him under his wing. The Macedonian people were not very fond of the new king's lover but Bagoas didn't mind very much. He was in love with his new king and happy to be with him. He finally fell asleep content.

The next morning when Bagoas awoke, the king wasn't beside him. He was sitting on a comfortable chair reading a letter with a huge smile on his face. Bagoas stood up from the bed and crossed the room.

" Good morning." The still groggy Persian said.

Alexander waved at him, but still remained focused on his letter. Bagoas left the room. He needed to take his own bath, before bathing the king. He returned soon after and bathed his king. Alexander did not speak; he seemed to be lost in his dreams so Bagoas hesitated to ask him what was on his mind. Alexander had told him he could talk to him freely but he still wasn't comfortable with this. Such freedom was unheard of in Darius' court. He preferred to stay silent, sooner or later he would know. Alexander would speak.

Later as Bagoas was walking in the palace. He over heard two soldiers in discussion. The eunuch was a quick study and his Greek had improved greatly. He'd decided though that the fewer people who knew this fact the better.

" General Hephaistion, our king's favorite, is coming back in few days." The first one said with derision in his tone.

" I know, Crateros and Cassander were speaking about it."

The two were laughing, saying they couldn't wait to see Hephaistion's face when he discovered the king with the eunuch. His new devoted lover. Bagoas was stunned at there crass comments about their ranking officer and king.

" I can't wait to see it either, my friend!"

" I don't know, at least the general is a Macedonian! This eunuch! Gods… who knows just what he is!" The other soldier said with an squeamish look on his face.

Bagoas who had hidden from them, turned and went back to his chamber. He thought about what he had just heard. Just how powerful was this General Hephaistion and how, exactly did he fit into his new kings life? He only knew a little bit about the man. He worried that he'd be displaced so soon. If indeed Hephaistion was now coming back he told himself he needed to learn more.

Bagoas knew who Hephaistion was. He'd met him. He also remembered what Alexander had said to the Princess Stateira. That he, Hephaistion, was Alexander too. He'd also learned that the young, handsome general was Alexander's childhood friend and lover. But Bagoas hadn't seen him a lot. The young king had sent him away on a mission just after their first meeting and quickly after took Bagoas as a lover. Alexander never spoke to him about his closest friend. It was as if Hephaistion had been forgotten since then. Alexander now focused his love on Bagoas. At least that is what Bagoas loved to tell himself.

What little he had learned about Hephaistion he'd gleaned from listening to generals' and soldiers' discussions, just the way he just learned the general was coming back. Hephaistion wasn't loved, he wasn't smart, he was not even considered a good warrior. At best he was hated and envied. The victim of rife jealousy. He'd simply had enough luck to have found his way into Alexander's bed. Then, since their childhood, he had used the king's weakness to bring favor upon himself.

Bagoas didn't like Hephaistion very much. Not only because of what he'd heard, but also because he was coming back. Bagoas being wise in the ways of courts felt much more secure with the general away. At the same time, a conflicted Bagoas thought that surely if the king had 'sent' his old lover away for two and a half months, it must be proof that Alexander had discovered the pleasures of Persia and may have gotten over Hephaistion. It was sheer nonsense to part from the one you supposedly loved so much for that long. Bagoas calmed himself with these reassuring thoughts. The king loved him, there was no reason to worry about it.

Hephaistion was at his desk. He was rereading his reports about the work he had done in building Alexandria. The elaboration of the building from A to Z. The report was almost two hundred pages and he wanted it to be perfect.

"You'd better to take a rest, Hephaistion. You leave tomorrow, early." Said Narssasse, the Persian son of the nobleman Hephaistion had put in charge of the new city.

"I need to finish it." Replied Hephaistion absently.

"You have already finished it." Narssasse looked at the Greek general. "You have done amazing work here and your king 'will' be impressed. Now rest."

Hephaistion remained silent. Staring dully at the papers before him. Indeed good work, and for what?

"You don't seem very happy to leave Alexandria, Hephaistion; since you sent your letter announcing your mission was done, you have seemed….upset"

Still no answer from the handsome man.

"It is the rumors. The rumors about the eunuch? They disturb you my friend. I've heard the rumors about him too. So I m sure that you must have."

" Would you mind your own business and let me work?" Scolded Hephaistion. A little more harshly than he had intended.

" I loved your speech at the 'farewell dinner', about how all of this was possible because of King Alexander and how he wants to unify Greeks and Persians." The young man's tone held a hint of anger.

" You seem bitter?"

" You have greatly minimized your part in this this….building of a new place. Besides why won't you stay until it's entirely done Hephaistion? You will be sorely missed."

"I am sure all will be fine. My work is done here, Narssasse."

" Who are you, Hephaistion? More than two months you are here and I don't know if you are a complete genius or the most stupid man I ever met."

Hephaistion frowned and glared at Narssasse. He was shocked that his aide would take such a tone and broach such a question. He had no answer so the bold fellow continued.

"Whoever you are Hephaistion, know that I am your friend now and for the last time, please read me more of the Iliad before we go. Leave this work. It is complete!" Said Narsasse with a soft but determined voice.

" Really?" Asked Hephaistion as his eyes lit up and Narsasses grinned at finally lightening Hephaistion's spirits. " I thought it bored you, our Illiad?"

"I was teasing you! You are so passionate when you read it. When you explain it to me it's like I am right there."

Hephaistion started to talk about the Iliad and also Homer and the time passed quickly. Much to Hephaistion's disappointment young Narssasse fell asleep in his chair, as he wove tale after tale for his guest.

Hephaistion was looking down at the city he'd built from his balcony. He was proud of himself, and proud of Alexander as well. He had missed his beloved so much. He'd been very busy though and the two months he'd been away seemed to pass quickly. He loved what he had done. Building the new city had taught so much, he had been thrilled and excited with the entire project. The young general had poured his soul into it. Sighing he tried to stave off his concerns. He didn't know what to think about the rumors he heard concerning his Alexander and the eunuch but still, despite his trust in Alexander he was bothered by them.

A few days later, Hephaistion arrived at Babylon. He was still impressed by the sumptuous city. He was very excited to be there again and could not wait to see Alexander. His excitement was quashed when Ptolemy told him that the king had learned in the morning that Darius might be just to the north and had left with a company to catch him.

Two days later, Hephaistion was bored. After so much activity in his new Alexandria, the palace at Babylon seemed like a golden prison to him. So with nothing to do he napped. Hephaistion was sleeping when a page told Hephaistion to join the king and the generals immediately, to issue a report. Hephaistion felt cold. He took his work with him. He had hoped that Alexander would call for him alone and before an official meeting, but no. The young man was hurt and upset.

Hephaistion explained his work in detail, and the always jealous and envious generals were bored to death. They didn't see the point in being there for such an unimportant thing as the construction of a city. Especially one that Hephaistion had built. Alexander was listening carefully and seemed very impressed and happy with Hephaistion's fine work.

As they left, Cleitos came closer to Hephaistion and whispered to him.

"You too will soon learn what it feels to have been a favorite. Yes, a friend and then lose it all..." He sneered at the younger man and stalked away.

Hephaistion stayed mute as Alexander looked at them. The generals had all left. Finally Alexander came closer to Hephaistion.

" What did Cleitos say to you?" He asked with concern.

Hephaistion, not in the mood for further delay, answered truthfully and bluntly. "That you've replaced me in your bed with a eunuch, Alexander."

Alexander laughed softly as he caressed Hephaistion's cheek tenderly. Hephaistion had missed the touch so badly, he felt shivers at the contact of Alexander's fingers despite his anger.

" Hephaistion," Alexander started, then was suddenly interrupted by Crateros who re-entered saying that a messenger had returned with news about Darius. Alexander nodded at Crateros.

"I'm coming." Then looked at Hephaistion. "I need to go Phai, take a rest, you did a fantastic job my friend. Come to me tonight, we will have time to talk then."

Alexander turned and quickly left with Craterus. Hephaistion was left wondering. When he'd gone away a little more than two months everything seemed so different. Yes, Alexander had been obsessed with Darius, and still was, so he was putting Hephaistion second to that challenge. Also just now when confronted, he didn't really answer when questioned about Bagoas. He couldn't wait to see Alexander that night. His hurt was turning to anger and it was not an emotion he liked to feel where Alexander was concerned.

Alexander was reading a letter when Bagoas saw Hephaistion enter the room. Bagoas looked at him discretely as he always did. Hephaistion was graceful and walked toward Alexander with ease and confidence. Taking a place behind the king he began to massage his shoulders while reading Alexander's letter.

The eunuch was truly shocked at his behavior and even more so when Alexander had nothing to say and let his old friend read over his shoulder. Bagoas felt betrayed, the king truly enjoyed Hephaistion's ministrations and the scene was displayed a great intimacy between them. Then Alexander stood up and asked Hephaistion to stay for the night. Bagoas' heart leerched in disappointment and when Hephaistion waved his hand absently toward where he stood without even a glance at him, the eunuch knew Hephaistion had noticed him but also noted that the general didn't take the effort to look at him, and he certainly did not give him very much concern. Alexander told Bagoas he would take his own bath, and dismissed him. Bagoas left the room quietly, but inside he felt insulted.

Hephaistion was back and Alexander had treated him like a simple Persian servant. Well he was a servant and he knew it, but he was a little more, too; yet in front of Hephaistion the king acted like he was nothing. One order of Hephaistion and he was reduced to a nobody. Bagoas wondered what Hephaistion's spell was? Yes, he was handsome, but Bagoas had a very unique beauty too. From what he had learned Hephaistion was not overly talented. Well, the eunuch chided himself, not talented except maybe in bed since the king kept him as his lover for so long. But Bagoas was a master of providing sexual pleasure, how could this lout of a Macadonian best him? He could give Alexander everything and anything the king desired.

Bagoas didn't recall ever feeling so jealous over someone, and understood that it was because he fallen in love with Alexander. He calmed down a bit and thought that after making love to the king for more than 2 months, Hephaistion would surely suffer from the comparison.

Alexander and Hephaistion moved out onto the large the balcony. Alexander had listened to Hephaistion's comments about his worries, and his mother. He wondered how his beloved could always read him like an open book and always be so accurate about his mind's ramblings and his doubts.

The king loved Hephaistion so much for that skill, he felt so at peace when he was with him. He had missed him so much. He put his hand on his lover's cheek and told him, he was the only one he loved, the only one he trusted, and that he had indeed missed him so much.

Hephaistion was so touched by Alexander's words, all his worries disappeared suddenly. Alexander told him exactly what he wanted to hear and what he needed to hear. He'd looked at him with such love that Hephaistion felt he couldn't breathe correctly. Alexander was speaking to him with simple and wonderful words that meant the world to him. He tried to distance himself from the powerful feeling by teasing Alexander about the way he had to have his head cocked, but soon he felt the need to tell Alexander what he was doing to him, how much he loved him and how much he feared to lose him. Even if he sounded stupid he didn't care, he needed to tell his beloved and have Alexander assure him he would never leave him.

Hephaistion broke the embrace and looked at him with a tender smile, soon replaced by a wicked grin. Alexander was wondering what Hephaistion had in his mind and he quickly found out when suddenly Hephaistion took him and threw him over his shoulder like a hunting trophy. Alexander was quite taken by surprise, his feet didn't touch the hard floor anymore.

"What are you doing Hephaistion? Put me down!" He yelled with a laugh.

Hephaistion didn't obey and began to laugh as he went back into the room with his prize.

"I am your king sir! Put me down!" Alexander said playfully, absolutely amused by the situation.

Finally, Hephaistion reached the royal bed, tossed his prize down and looked at him proudly, and with a naughty smile.

"I m going eat you, very slowly..." Said Hephaistion as he took off his green silky cloak and jumped on the bed near his lover who was watching him with lust.

Hephaistion kissed Alexander with passion, the night was still young and theirs alone.

Bagoas won back the bed of his king but only because Hephaistion had been sent on a new assignment for few days. He felt sad that when Hephaistion was there, he seemed to become invisible to his beloved king. He also noticed that when Hephaistion was away, Alexander was more tense and nervous.

"Is something wrong with you Bagoas?" Asked the king gently. One evening when the eunuch had seemed uncommonly quiet.

Bagoas didn't answer. He couldn't say to his king he felt lonely when Hephaistion was there.

"You can tell me everything." Insisted Alexander .

Bagoas looked at the man he'd fallen in love with. He decided to play the innocent one, and try to see what he could get from it. After all he'd survived until now because he was smart and a little manipulative and there was nothing wrong with it, because he used it for his safety.

"I wondered if I did something wrong, my King." He began. "You did not call me to please you for weeks, and if I did something wrong, I..."

Alexander interrupted him. "You did nothing wrong Bagoas. You are an angel." He said caressing his cheeks. " I really appreciate your company." He added.

Bagoas looked at his beloved. "So why?"

Alexander smiled. " Dear Bagoas, I deeply care about you, but you have to know and understand that when Hephaistion is here, I do not wish to be with anyone else. That does not mean that I do not care about you anymore or that you've done something wrong; it's just the way it is Bagoas. Hephaistion is my closest friend." stated Alexander.

"I understand." said Bagoas.

"Bagoas, I am going with the army, I will soon leave the palace to chase Darius, tomorrow, and I don't know when I'll return. Do you want to come with us? It won't be comfortable to live in a tent and travel but I will appreciate having you near by."

"I will follow you everywhere my king." He replied.

Alexander smiled at him and left the room.

Bagoas felt happy to have been asked to come but his joy was over-shadowed by the fact, that no matter what happened, by the his kings own admission, he would have to concede his place to Hephaistion whenever the young general was around.

Bagoas, from that forward, became obsessed with discovering Hephaistion's secret to keeping the king's love, and as the other Macedonian said. "Remaining at his beck and call."

He wanted to know, needed to know just who was this Hephaistion Amyntor.

TBC


	3. chatper 3

Alexander had finally found Darius and the army was now traveling again. Since they'd left, Bagoas' life had been very different. It was far more difficult for him to keep himself as the 'perfect' eunuch in all these sometimes very dirty camps and his life was not what it had been in the palace at Babylon.

Bagoas didn't complain, after all he was with Alexander and that was what mattered most. He had gone out in the morning to search for some special flowers to decorate the king's tent and while wandering about he chatted with some of Persian women he knew. He had tried to learn more about Hephaistion but it was always the same tale. Bagoas tried to make himself see reality. Hephaistion didn't even bother to glance at him when they were in the same room. He did not even acknowledge the eunuch as a threat. He was completely invisible to the tall young man. Hephaistion was very skilled at making Bagoas feel so absolutely insignificant, silently reminding him that he was not worth the great general's attention let alone the kings serious attention. Some time later, defeated, he returned and the guards allowed him to enter Alexander's tent to place the flowers and prepare the king's bath as he always did. Hephaistion had been away for 3 days and would not return for two more. The eunuch pushed his gloomy thoughts aside and focused on his joy at having the king to himself.

Suddenly he heard laughter coming from outside. Alexander's laugh, followed by Hephaistion's. Without really thinking, but out of instinct, he went to hide in a corner. From there he watched Hephaistion, who was in filthy armor and even filthier clothes, throw his arms around Alexander and pull him into a fierce embrace.

" You are dirty Hephaistion. By the gods you didn't even bother to take a bath before seeing me?"

"Well, I guess that I just couldn't wait, my king."

" You are incredible. Done with your mission in three days! Ugh! Let me loose you pigs son! I never thought you could come back before the weeks end."

"What can I say? I am the best." The dirty general boasted letting go of Alexander and moving straight for the wine cabinet.

" And modest." Laughed Alexander.

Hephaistion returned with two cups of mixed wine, handed one off to Alexander and kissed him. " I have missed you." He said quite seriously. His voice husky with desire.

"Go take a bath first, Hephaistion. I am flattered by your urgency but you truly do stink."

" What? I'm hurt Alexander! What you are smelling is fresh air of the forest!"

Alexander laughed as Hephaistion continued to kiss his lover sliding lower and attacking Alexander's neck. Alexander moaned enjoying the sensation of Hephaistion's teeth nipping at his neck.

"Come on Alexander, be adventurous, be wild." Said Hephaistion as he began to slip his free hand into Alexander's chiton.

"You are too naughty my friend." Scolded Alexander but he let his lover's adventurous hand continue its roving.

Bagoas watched them in shock. He found Hephaistion's attitude course, also very possessive and very masculine. The general was a filthy mess and Alexander didn't seem to mind. The king even seemed to enjoy the little play. As he looked on, Hephaistion pushed the king backwards, down onto the bed and stretched himself out on the top of him. Bagoas was appalled by Hephaistion's predatory and extremely crude seduction. This was nothing like the 'art' he displayed in the king's bed.

Alexander tried to take off Hephaistion's armor with a now awakened and growing passion. Finally, thought Bagoas, the king was taking control of the situation. After all Hephaistion was assuredly forgetting who he was to the king. A general a servant. But, in fact Bagoas was forgetting that between these two men, this was not about being king and general and that here, in the king's tent, the code they had to respect in public because of their ranks did not exist.

Alexander was becoming hungrier for Hephaistion's muscular body and continued to grab at his lovers armor trying to unbuckle it. As Bagoas watched Hephaistion suddenly stopped his king's advances, blocking Alexander by holding his wrists over his head.

"No, no, no Alexander. We are going to take this slowly. I think I want to make you beg for more."

" Really?" asked Alexander challenging Hephaistion orders.

" Are you doubting me? I do not think that you are in a position to do so." He taunted.

Alexander didn't answer so Hephaistion stood up.

"What?" said Alexander, surprised. "You are not leaving I hope? He sounded surprised and upset.

Hephaistion began to unbuckle his chest plate, then after dropping his belt to the floor he pulled something from behind his back and answered. "See, you are already begging." He grinned wickedly displaying the hidden item.

" A rope?" asked Alexander incredulously. "Are you planning to tie me up?"

Hephaistion nodded in agreement. Alexander smiled as he offered his two hands to be tied up. "Been planning it for two days now."

Slightly disappointed Hephaistion lowered the rope for a moment. "You'd show me no resistance...Come, Great King Alexander, what would your people think if they knew you can be made to surrender so easily?" asked Hephaistion, still teasing him as undressed the rest of the way and headed back to the bed.

Once there he secured his kings wrists to the bed post and leaned back to admire his handiwork. Alexander bent his head upwards to kiss Hephaistion but the man stepped away again. "Well my king, it's not quite the Gordian knot but it should do."

"Hephaistion!" Alexander pleaded. He watched as the general swaggered, naked back to the table and began to sip at his wine. "Get over here."

Never one to disobey an order Hephaistion moved slowly back to the bed and sat down on the edge. He sipped his wine and with his free hand trailed his fingernails lightly up and down his fettered kings exposed thighs. He smiled as Alexander squirmed and his skin erupted in goose bumps. The king groaned and arched upwards when the taunting fingers moved higher and to the inside of his thigh. Hephaistion stared with hungry and self satisfied glee at the look of ecstasy and desire that flashed across the prone man's face. Finally, his wine finished, he set the cup aside and began to remove Alexander's chiton.

Bagoas could not believe his eyes. Nor could he bring himself to move. Frozen in place by his shock he watched them. Hephaistion was again in control and Alexander seemed to enjoy it immensely. Then Hephaistion set himself completely on the top of his king, ready to penetrate him. Bagoas' heart jumped, surely, Hephaistion would not top his king. It was an impossible scenario. His mind was spinning and he was ready to bolt from his hiding place. The king was tied up and was about to be raped. The terrified eunuch's Persian sensibilities refused to process the scene before him. Finally he was brought back to reality when he heard Alexander pleading.

" Please Hephaistion, now, do it now, I can't wait anymore, I want you inside me. Gods above Hephaistion!"

The king was begging to be taken. This was a shock to Bagoas who had always pictured something far different about Hephaistion as Alexander's lover. Finding it impossible to watch anymore he closed his kohl darkened eyes and cringed as he listened to Alexander moan and beg for more.

Finally sated, Alexander spoke and his words made Bagoas' heart break. As the stricken eunuch listened, the king, his voice hoarse from moaning, said "I love you my Patroclus, my Hephaistion, my only beloved."

Hephaistion untied his king and rested his head on Alexander's sweat slick chest. He kissed the soft blond hairs there and exhausted they both fell asleep.

Bagoas ran from the tent, still in shock.

Alexander was awake and staring at a still slumbering Hephaistion. As he studied his lovers peaceful face the king was also playing with Hephaistion's long hair and weaving thin plaits in it. Hephaistion finally woke up.

" What are you doing Alexander?" he asked his voice deep and gravely with sleep.

" Doing? I am doing plaits, Love."

Hephaistion laughed a deep and resonant laugh. A laugh born of infinite love and understanding. "Thank you my Alexander. I'm sure that I am very pretty now..." he said with sarcasm but gently so.

" Well Hephaistion, I must admit, you actually are." Alexander responded sounding far too serious for Hephaistion's well being.

" I think this time, we really do need to take a bath come."

" Hephaistion?" asked Alexander

" Yes?"

" I have something to ask you? Something not really easy to talk about." He said a little nervously.

" You can tell me anything, you know that." Said Hephaistion with a warm and reassuring voice.

" It's about Bagoas..." he began

" Oh." answered Hephaistion, a little annoyed and nervous as well. «What about your Persian pet Alexander?»

" I know quite well what every Macedonian in this camp thinks about him in my bed...except you. You the one closest to my heart yet..."

"What do you want to know?"

Alexander sighed. Why did Hephaistion always make things so difficult? He wondered. He hated being made to again beg.

"Well, your not… jealous? I don't know. What do you feel? Betrayed? Angry? Hurt. You could. You would be well within your rights. I'm torn with this myself. I care about him, even love him, he is sweet and ..."

Hephaistion looked at him. His heart thumped wildly, he wondered where this was all leading.

"Jealous? No. He is nothing to me really, he is not a threat Alexander…or is he?" he asked his lover seriously, squinting a bit as he studied Alexander's face.

"No, you are the only one I love with my entire being. I will die for you Hephaistion."

"Thank you, but if you don't mind, please stay alive." He paused reached out and stroking Alexander's lightly stubble covered cheek he went on. " from you are your assurance that 'I' am the only one you name as your Patroclus. And always be honest with me; should you start to love him or someone else more than me, promise Alexander to tell me the moment you are aware of it. Tell me and I will step aside."

"I would never be able to love someone more than you."

Hephaistion kissed Alexander's cheek.

" All that matters to me - is to be the first in your heart as you are in mine. What happens with others just happens, but you can't ever let it be more than what we share. Our love…Our love is divine, Alexander..." Alexander nodded in agreement and kissed Hephaistion lightly on the lips. "What we share with others, Alexander, is only human weakness; as long as we are honest with each other, I have nothing to fear."

He drew Alexander toward himself and again kissed him seeking out his tongue and relishing in his familiar taste. It was a soft and sensual kiss, not at all like the hurried passion of the past evening. Hephaistion poured his love into the kiss and prayed to the gods that Alexander would feel it.

Alexander held him tightly. He so loved this man, and what they talked about was very important because he had learned a short time ago that Hephaistion had very discretely begun taking another man to his bed when he was away for long periods of time. They'd never spoken about it. But Alexander wondered and worried about it quite a lot. Hephaistion was right, their love was divine, and if he compared it to his feelings for Bagoas it was so entirely different.

Lost, as he was, in his thoughts Alexander watched Hephaistion stand up. He laughed to himself at the ridiculous hair style he'd saddled Hephaistion with while the man was still asleep. Hephaistion paused and took Alexander's hand and kissed it

"I love you Alexander, and I will die for you, and only for you, and the fact that you are my king does not matter in that choice. Be sure of this, you could be a slave and my feelings would be the same."

Alexander smiled. "I know," he answered simply and happily. «I know.»

Bagoas kept what he'd witnessed between his beloved king and Hephaistion a secret, although a disturbing secret. Disturbing because it was about Alexander and Hephaistion's love, a love where there was no king and general; no rank to respect. Just a pure love between two men no matter who they were or who was king and who was not. Bagoas knew in his heart that no matter what, Alexander would always be the king for him and no matter what, he would always be the eunuch.

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

Time passed Alexander married Roxane. Bagoas thought she could be the one who would bring Hephaistion's downfall. He didn't have to fear his place in the king's bed, because a queen or not, he would always be Bagoas the eunuch, the pleasure slave. But if the king had indeed fallen in love with a woman, then Hephaistion's place in the king's heart was threatened.

Sadly though nothing had changed and Roxanne now despised the general just as much as Bagoas did and had to learn like he had, to deal with Hephaistion's place as the number one person in Alexander's heart. The only thing different now, was that he felt more threatened by Roxanne herself. It was as if they were both fighting for the second place in the king's heart.

Roxanne hated Hephaistion but had no choice but to tolerate him the best she could. Hephaistion was untouchable. But Bagoas wasn't. They could have been allies but they were enemies. Bagoas didn't like the queen and their silent fight to decide who would win the king's favors when Hephaistion wasn't present was constant.

Once he overheard Roxanne talking to her closest friend, saying that she couldn't understand Alexander and his sexual inclination toward men. She could understand what a eunuch could give; she knew they possessed certain skills, and did things that she always ignored but at least that he was a servant. When it came to Alexander's passion for Hephaistion she was just clueless.

She hated the way Hephaistion acted, giving her absolutely no consideration. Bagoas and Roxanne had that particular gripe in common. To be reduced to nothing and treated as being invisible when it came to Hephaistion. Bagoas by his status had no choice but to accept it, but Roxanne as the queen, was often very angry about it but Alexander didn't want to hear any complaints about Hephaistion.

Both Bagoas and Roxanne had no choice but to more or less accept where Alexander's heart belonged and if they forgot for one second, the ring on Alexander's finger was always a good reminder.

Bagoas wondered how Hephaistion did it. It seemed each time the general was about to lose, like a phoenix he was immediately reborn from his ashes, and even stronger than before in Alexander's heart but also in the political power game. Bagoas struggled with his dilemma. Is his king foolish enough to be so blinded by his love of Hephaistion?

Time had passed but Bagoas still found that he didn't trust Hephaistion, who was winning more power and he felt also it was only because of Alexander's love he won it. A point of view he shared with others until a conversation he had with Ptolemy.

Ptolemy very was close to Alexander and Bagoas had never really heard a disparaging word about Hephaistion come from the general's mouth.

Then one day Bagoas had the strange opportunity to discover much about why when Ptolemy defended him from some other Macedonian general, who was touching him and being rude.

"Don't listen to them, Bagoas." Said the general after sending the offensive man away.

"Thank you." Answered the eunuch. Bowing to Ptolemy before turning to walk away. He stopped when the general continued to speak to him.

" Sometimes they can be oafish, stupid men but they have their qualities as well, they are just jealous." Added the blond haired man and smiling at the eunuch.

"It happens to the ones who are closest to the king. They scuffle to get ever closer to him, even if only by hurting the ones he holds dear."

" Like Hephaistion?" asked Bagoas amazed at his forwardness.

Ptolemy nodded. "Yes, Bagoas, Hephaistion...they have no idea of who he is really... Not that I have a clear idea, myself, either, but at least I don't think, like them, think that he is a useless whore who's won his place because he shares Alexander's bed."

"What do you think of him sir?"

"Good question, Bagoas. I don't know, he is not one to let much about himself be known. I think only Alexander truly knows him. I do often wonder about him. I think he really loves Alexander and he is completely devoted to him, only Alexander matters for him. What Alexander wants he wants too. He, is sadly enough, a very isolated man who only needs Alexander's love to breathe and make him happy."

Bagoas listened to Ptolemy quite shocked that the general was still discussing Hephaistion.

" I remember, Bagoas, how Alexander changed when he met Hephaistion. Alexander had always been a passionate and an ambitious even when he was a boy. In his youth he was already very smart and quite a genius but he was lacking in ... in freedom and courage to explain what he truly wanted. He was torn between his father and his mother. The queen, Olympias, had an incredible hold of the boy, she loved her son but she was very possessive of him. Too much so. He was forced into doing what she wanted to please her or what his father wanted to please him."

Ptolemy sighed and continued "The truth was he only wanted to be loved instead of being the subject of their war. He found comfort when he read in the Illiad - the myths and the heroes were his friends. Phillip thought his son could have been a better singer or musician than a king and a warrior and belittled him endlessly. Then Hephaistion came along and Alexander changed almost immediately it seems. As if Hephaistion had released him and let the real Alexander appear. I saw the change and I wasn't the only one. Olympias did too, she couldn't control her son like she used to. Everybody saw Alexander changing as they witnessed Hephaistion's importance in the prince's evolution. The two were, still are...inseparable. The others envied Hephaistion's place in Alexander's life and most still do. What do you think of Hephaistion, Bagoas?"

Bagoas turned his face to look at Ptolemy. Had the general really asked for his opinion ? "It's hard to say."

Ptolemy continued. "There was a time that Hephaistion was very sick and Alexander assigned me to replace him for few days at his task. I didn't think it could be hard; it was just logistics. But the truth is I was impressed, every thing was well supervised. I was there three days and had almost nothing to do because Hephaistion had planned it all so well. I just did one inventory and it bored me to death. Counting and sorting. Packing and repacking. It is very important work though. If they were missing a piece or had broken one then another must be found. If the soldiers needed it and you can't do without it, you had to get it. So completely different from planning a battle or going into the heart of the battle. But Hephaistion does it and does it well. Sure enough some part came up short. To my amazement, sick as he was, Hephaistion showed up when he learned I had some troubles. Then to my further surprise he solves the problem in just few moments, and this man, I thought, is also a warrior, maybe not the not the best warrior but he is one just as all of us are. He is many things Bagoas."

Bagoas was glad to have Ptolemy talk to with him about Hephaistion. He was one of the few generals who liked to talk and it seemed to the eunuch that Ptolemy did a lot of thinking about everything, analyzing it. This new information was very interesting.

"Well, he surprised me. I just had no idea of how hard of a worker he was. Even sick he helped me to do his work," Ptolemy laughed a bit, " and I was the one who was supposed to help him. But even with this, we never bonded. He stays so distant - polite but distant. Then there are still times when he suddenly becomes angry at one of us and we can't even recognize the calm and distant man who's suddenly turned into a furious bull in a blink of eye. He would kill us without thinking twice about it if we hurt his king. Hephaistion Amyntor.. everybody has an opinion about him, nobody has the truth. This is why he is so hated, Bagoas, they just hate what they don't know and can't understand. I think we are all obsessed by the man because we can't have the answer. He refuses to give it to us. Or maybe he has and we just refuse to accept it."

Bagoas understood Ptolemy's feeling. Yes it was indeed very easy to hate Hephaistion, and to envy him out of fear.

"Well Bagoas, I have to let you know, I am still trying to find a good tactic about these new enemies who are living in the trees.» Bagoas noted the change of subject. «We still have had no success to catch or kill one. We have no idea what they are capable of ."

Bagoas nodded, as suddenly he and Ptolemy spotted Hephaistion, who was coming back from a scouting trip in the jungle. He led along, on a length of leather strap, a strange animal they never seen before. The two men went closer. Alexander who was also nearby by watched in awe as his lover was petting the small beast and explaining that the new enemy wasn't an enemy at all but as he'd surmised earlier they were simply animals. He coaxed them all to come closer and see the new creature. He explained that they'd used some fruit and a fishing net to snare it and on the journey back to the main camp he'd earned its trust and had gotten it to eat from his hand.

Bagoas and Ptolemy looked at each other in wonder.

"Just like I said Bagoas... how does he do it?"

It seemed it was an unanswerable question, thought Bagoas. He stood with Ptolemy and watched as Alexander squatted down and touched the animal's fur. Hephaistion gave the king one of his rare smiles and was repaid by one from Alexander. Bagoas saw the warmth in his king's face as he smiled at Hephaistion, and he noted how the general basked in it.

" By the gods Hephaistion !

you beat me again at this new game!" Alexander said with a little pout. « By the way what have you been doing, practicing with that animal of yours? You have kept yourself cooped up in here for three days now since your return..»

" Don't pout Alexander, if I am lucky in this game, I must be unlucky at something else." Hephaistion said in a soft tone. "I've been cooped up and resting myself for you."

Alexander, who was a worrier by nature, wondered what his lover meant by his last sentence and if he was hiding something from him.

" Is something wrong Hephaistion? Why did you say that?"

" Say what?" asked Hephaistion who was putting away the game.

" About being 'unlucky somewhere else'" He asked with concern.

Hephaistion looked at him and smiled.

" You worry too much, I'm fine." He insisted.

" Are you still hurt because of my wedding with Roxanne?"

" Of course not." He said surprised. " It's all over now, I know that I am still the only one in your heart, we have already discussed and discussed it. I am perfectly fine with this. I've just been frightened over you marrying for a lifetime, unsure of what part I'd still have in your life as well but now I know and I fine. I know," He paused and wrapped Alexander in his arms before continuing «That you are still crazy about me."

Alexander smiled, reveling in the strong embrace. An embrace he thought sadly that he did not get to feel nearly enough.

"And always will be." The king added as he kissed the red ring on his finger. Hephaistion frowned.

" Why are you kissing your ring when I'm so near you with my lips totally available?"

Alexander laughed. "Because I love this ring, it reminds me constantly of how much you love me"

" It's sweet of you to love it so much but 'my' lips are still waiting eagerly."

Alexander couldn't resist an order from his best friend's lips and kissed them. As he broke the kiss, he was still upset, with the part about the unluckiness of Hephaistion's previous statement.

" Are you happy?" He asked with concern.

" Alexander!" said Hephaistion, a little bit annoyed this time.

" Tell me! I know you have some hard times and too often it seems. I am not blind Hephaistion. You haven't any friends and I'm sure it's because of me." He said sadly. Wary of the furrow now creasing Hephaistion's brow.

" What about the possibility of it being my choice Alexander? That it has nothing to do with you at all. I grew weary of fighting with men to accept me and what I am to you long ago. I choose my solitude. I create it for myself." Alexander picked up his cup of wine and listened as Hephaistion continued. "I m happy Alexander, I have the life I've always wanted, even better than in my childhood dreams. Please do not concern yourself."

Alexander glanced at his lover with questions in his eyes. Hephaistion sat down and stretched out his legs; he knew by the look on Alexander's face that the man was not through yet. He knew he had to continue to reassure his friend of his happiness so he continued.

"Did I ever tell you, Alexander, why my father insisted with yours that he allow me in Aristotle's class?"

" No, I don't think so."

" Well I'm going to tell you."

A 10 year old Hephaistion stood in front of his mother trying to be still as she fussed a bit with his cloak and brushed his hair out of his eyes before telling him when to return home.

" Don't go too far, and I want you to be back before the diner bell!" said the concerned woman.

" I know. I know, mother, can I please go and play now?" The antsy boy pleaded.

" Just a minute, Hephaistion! Remember don't go in the forest! Last time, your uncle saw you near. Do you remember how your father and I were mad at you? If you go there, I promise that this time the punishment will be harder."

" I know, I promise I won't go." Lied Hephaistion who had already planned a trip to the forest.

" Good!" She squeezed his shoulder and smiled down at him.

Hephaistion turned his back to his mother and was ready to go when the woman made a last request.

"Don't bring back animals, Hephaistionyour grandmother almost had a heart attack at the sight of that ugly lizard you brought home last week." She sighed, kissed her son's forehead and let him go.

" Why can't I have a boy a bit less adventurous." She thought.

Hephaistion went straight to a cave were he had hidden a bag with some weapons just in case he would need them and other things like food, and little blanket too." He had planned his trip a days ago.

He arrived in the forest and didn't hesitate to cross the forbidden line his mother told him not to. His heart was beating with excitement. Alone in a totally unknown place could be dangerous but also very interesting because of all the new things he would see as he walked as far as he could. He followed a squirrel that he so badly wanted to catch and focused on his hunt he'd let time slip away. Now it was already far past the time when he should have returned.

Disappointed because he had lost the cute animal, he realized that not only was he late but also that he was lost. He began to panic but not because he was lost he panicked more so because he could already picture his parents' anger. He sighed, what was done was done. Night would fall soon so found a spot to spend it and built a fire. He ate what he had brought with him and wrapped his cloak and blanket tighter around himself.

Weird noises kept him from sleeping. The next day, he tried to find another place that seemed more secure. He found and killed a hare for his lunch when he was searching for some water. The second night came and this time he was really tired and sleepy. He began to tell himself he had to find his way back home the next day he had no idea how to survive for long alone in the forest and if some wolves showed up, he would never have the chance to do all the things he wanted to do in his life. He was starting to realize he was in a very bad situation and it worried him. The little trip had lost its fun.

He was finally falling asleep when something hit him hard and woke him up again. Scared he looked around and saw his father standing over him with some of his friends. They had found him but seeing his father's angry face he would have preferred to face the wolves.

" Father." He said weakly and near tears his fear suddenly breaking free of his chest.

His father's expression suddenly softened and he took him his arms. Then the large man broke the embrace and punched his son so hard Hephaistion fell to the ground.

"This time Hephaistion, you've gone too far!" his father yelled.

A few days later, Hephaistion was allowed to leave his room where he had been locked away. His parents told him he was going to be sent to Mieza to be educated and civilized since they were apparently failing in that matter.

Hephaistion was very upset, he didn't want to go there. It would mean the end of his freedom. The thought of being kept in a school with the prince who had the reputation to be a "mother's' s boy" and who liked reading and playing music all day didn't thrill him at all. The prospect of becoming a warrior to bring more gold to the kingdom and spending his time being bored to death in a palace talking to superficial people wasn't what he wanted either. What he wanted, was simple, he wanted to discover the world that was beyond Macedon.

The little boy made up his mind, as soon as he arrived at Mieza, he would runaway and this time he would do it correctly and he wouldn't need to go back and certainly he would not be found again.

Alexander had listened to Hephaistion's childhood tale.

" You were planning to runaway.. ?" Alexander had never known about this.

" Yes, but the prince I met there was different from what I expected." Added Hephasition with a grin.

"You were a hard conquest tough." Alexander reminded him.

"Certainly, until I found out that you and I shared more than I would ever have thought."

Alexander nodded and said. "We didn't only fall in love, we also found someone who understood and shared the same dream."

" Right! So why you are asking me if I m happy? Of course I am happy, how could it have been better? I don't think it could."

" Good." Alexander replied. Hephaistion hoped he had convinced him.

" But you, Alexander, are always unhappy. You are the type who always doubts themselves, never being satisfied with what you've done."

Alexander said nothing. So Hephaistion continued. " Sometimes it's frustrating, I want you to be happy too. Never doubt that you make me happy. You alone. I have no need to surround myself with others."

" And I am. You're right, I always think I can do better, that I can go farther and my pride and anger can blind me so much. But there's one thing I am not blind to, and it is about us. When it comes to us, this, being together Hephaistion that is where I find bliss."

They were looking at each other with trust and love when they heard a loud noise and saw the monkey Hephaistion had caught jump into Hephaistion's arms and kiss him.

" Oh! Look Alexander he missed me." Said Hephaistion. «You never greet me like that!»

Alexander crossed his arms. Laughing at the odd display.

" It seems I have a serious rival here!" Added Alexander and then they laughed together.

TBC


	5. chapter 5

The happier time would fade away though and be nearly blotted out by a tragic event. Alexander killed Cleitus. It had been three days now and he was still staying in his tent, refusing to see anybody and crying his heart out. Bagoas was taking care of him. Whatever he could do to bring solace to his King he did. He was deeply hurt to see the man he loved in such deep pain.

Hephaistion had visited him just after the incident then hadn't shown up again. The king needed to grieve, to be alone and the general had decided to wait. But after all this time, his lover was still a mess and it was becoming dangerous. People wondered about their king. They were beginning to become divided.

The murder of Cleitus by Alexander in a drunken rage had been a shock for everyone, even for Hephaistion. Not that he liked Cleitus any more than the others. Cleitus had been Phillip's favorite and a very conservative man. Hephaistion just didn't fully trust him. But Cleitus, and of this he was sure, loved Alexander simply because he was Phillip's son and his feelings for his king had been genuine.

The general didn't mourn Cleitus, he mourned Alexander's pain. He knew the guilt over killing Cleitus was overwhelming him. But now his beloved's grief had gone too far and too long. Alexander stood poised to lose more than a companion and friend with that one death.

Resolute he entered the king's tent. Bagoas looked up at him. The general was dressed in black, his skin was paler than usual. Was this because of the black clothes or because he hadn't slept for two nights he wondered. What shocked Bagoas was that the general wore a very upset and angry face and he didn't hesitate to glower at Alexander.

Just after Hephaistion arrived they heard the queen arrive and Hephaistion exited, it didn't take him more than a moment to push the Queen and her new ally Cassander out of the tent.

Roxanne and Cassander felt once again insulted by Hephaistion. She was the queen and she had been reduced to nothing. Alexander's lover had mocked her, and grinned wickedly at her when she had said her husband needed her. He'd treated her as though she were common servant. Scorned her as if she was a silly fool, stupid enough to ask the obvious, did Alexander need Hephaistion?

When Hephaistion came back into the tent, he began to shake the king with harsh words and looks. Bagoas couldn't understand, didn't he see that the King was suffering? Was that how he was supposed to treat the man he loved and who was grieving? Hephaistion's words scared Bagoas. The king was saying he had failed and Hephaistion was talking about not being guilty of arrogance. He was listening, wondering how he could ask that of his king.

" You don't realize Alexander, you are doing exactly what they want! You are going, if you continue to mourn like that, to lose it all! All that you've done! All that you have struggled for!"

Bagoas gave a new cup of wine to his king who was cuddling to him like a child who needed his mother and didn't want to hear the sermon.

"They are judging you, they are insulting you! You cannot allow it! All they see is themselves, now they are rich enough, they want to go back, even better they want you at their feet. But Alexander the truth is, you made them, they owe you! Not the other way around and they are forgetting it! They are selfish, closed minded. What you want is so much bigger and wiser than their little world where they think they are superior! They can't understand it!" Hephaistion took Alexander's face in his hands and continued to plead with him.

" They need you Alexander this is the truth and they played with you, with your feelings to make you believe it is you who needed them. Alexander you are not only the king of Macedonia anymore! You are now, the king of the world, if Macedonia doesn't want to follow you! The world will follow you and they won't have any choice but to follow you!" he said firmly.

The king was listening and said with a weak voice

"I don't know, I don't know anymore Hephaistion.."

"Listen Alexander. In your heart you have a dream, that is my dream too, our dream, if you want to give it up because of them, well that's your choice, you want to waste all what you've done until now? It's up to you too. But you have to ask yourself the hard questions, will you be able to look at yourself in a mirror again if you fail in your dream because of jealous people. Which goals are more noble and right? Yours or theirs?"

Hephaistion took his hand from his lover's face and crossed his arms.

"You know what I want, you know what they want now decide what YOU really want my friend but you have to do it now!" he ordered.

Without even a glance at Bagoas, Hephaistion was very annoyed with him because of the motherly attitude the eunuch had taken toward his lover, he ordered him into action.

"Bagoas, go prepare his bath and order a dinner enough for two."

Bagoas looked at his king, who nodded to him to execute the orders. Alexander stood up and looked at his dearest friend.

"What would I do without you?"

Hephaistion's face softened at the sorrow and pain in Alexander's voice.

" It won't be easy, they are divided but I will be there. We are going to get through this together, my Achilles."

Alexander loved to hear Hephaistion call him his Achilles. They embraced and he held his lover tightly.

" You are a great man Alexander, never forget that, never let someone else say otherwise, all that you've done is yours and only yours."

"That's not true," interrupted Alexander, "it's ours."

Hephaistion smiled and repeated "Ours".

After the India disaster Bagoas who had heard Hephaistion's speech to the king was truly angry with the general. His beloved king could have died and he blamed the whole thing on Hephaistion. He decided he would ignore the general the best he could. They were now back at home, and even Roxanne was no longer a rival. She was too busy insuring that the other wives wouldn't become pregnant before her.

Time passed and Bagoas slowly pushed aside his anger. Of course, he'd never dared to show his anger to anyone. Angry or not he still had questions about Hephaistion and his part in Alexander's life. Maybe he had been unfair with Alexander's lover. After all, the king wasn't someone who could have been manipulated so easily. He trusted his king and his judgment. So, maybe Hephaistion wasn't that bad, maybe he only saw him in a dark light because it was easier for Bagoas to lie to himself - to be in denial than to see the "good side" of the mysterious lover. Maybe the two men did indeed truly love each other. He recalled the words that Ptolemy had spoken long ago.

Even if the man was truly hated, he also had some allies. Bagoas noticed that most of them were Persian, like Narssasse, who had come for a visit few months ago. The handsome Persian had driven Alexander crazy. He was clearly in love with Hephaistion and had tried everything to seduce the man. Alexander had been jealous, but he knew the scoundrel was also a friend of his beloved Hephaistion so he tried his best to respect their friendship. Alexander suspected Narssasse and Hephaistion flaunted their friendship in front of him, if only to get a rise from him.

Although, Alexander had ranted on and on about the whole situation and said how he couldn't wait to see the noble Persian leave, he also seemed to have developed a liking for the man – almost against his will. Between the three of them, they all were brave, almost reckless, and each understood the other. It was more a game between the three than a serious war. A war Narssasse knew he couldn't win. But the young man had been a breath of fresh air to both of them. The two most powerful men of the world could be so girlish, thought the eunuch as he smiled.

Unfortunately, just when Bagoas was more inclined to be open and allow himself to begin to see Hephaistion in a kinder light, the general died. Alexander's grief was all encompassing. Bagoas did not recognize the man, his king, whom he so loved. He was worried for Alexander, a king who now drowned his sorrow in strong drink.

He entered Alexander's room. Just as he had done yesterday and for too many days now Alexander sat on a chair and stared blankly at his desk.

"Majesty?" asked Bagoas.

No answer. Bagoas took a brush and begun to slowly brush the king's shortened hair. He missed the longer style he'd always worn before Hephaistion's death.

"I worry for you my king, you drink more than you eat, you don't take care of your health like you used to…" He paused and decided to go on - even if it meant risking the king's wrath.

"I fear you will never come back from Arabia. You are a shadow of your former self. You must take care of yourself, my king. You have aged 10 years in not as many months." He said sadly, as he continued to brush the now silvered hair.

Finally, the king seemed to recover from his seemingly comatose state.

"I am fine, Bagoas." He said with a weak smile, his voice a mere whisper.

Bagoas did not believe him.

"My king, please tell me about the general Amyntor?" he asked softly.

Alexander was surprised by the question but, at least it brought him his full attention. Bagoas must truly be concerned he thought, nothing else would pries such a bold question from his lips.

"What do you want me to say Bagoas? You knew him." He said in reply. Offering nothing more that would enlighten the eunuch.

Bagoas shook his head. Took a deep breath and forged ahead.

"No, I didn't. In fact Majesty, nobody knew him but you. I've heard so much about him, so much of it bad, and full of ill will – never many good words, but for everybody he is a complete mystery. Only you, my king, know who Hephaistion really was."

Alexander made no reply. He sat silent, musing for a moment at the eunuch's query and sad observation that most of what he'd been told about Hephaistion had been bad. It pained him to know that so many had hated the man he loved so dearly. To know that had it not been for their relationship Hephaistion would have been loved by all. Bagoas was right, only he knew of the deep sadness that hid in the gentle general's heart. Only he knew of the times he held and comforted Hephaistion when the taunts and jealousy finally became too much to bear alone.

"In fact, a lot of people are wondering the same as me, my king. I hope I don't offend you majesty, but Hephaistion was a living mystery to us."

Bagoas wanted Alexander to talk about his beloved, he thought that, by talking, Alexander could begin to bury him properly and therefore let go of some of his grief and begin to live again.

But the king still did not provide any answers. His mind seemed to be once more far, far away from the room, far from the reality. Then Alexander remembered with amazing clarity an event from his life with Hephaistion.

The two young teenagers were cuddling on Alexander's bed they had just finished reading together, aloud, a part of the Iliad.

"You see, Hephaistion, at the end the only thing that mattered was what you'd done. It that way, you stay immortal like our heroes." Alexander said caught up in the text as he always became. Hephaistion loved the passion in his voice when he spoke about the Illiad.

Hephaistion nodded in agreement and kissed Alexander's cheek.

"You agree with me, but you refused to sign your drawing Hephaistion," Stated he young prince, it was his oblique attempt to start rehashing the scene from the cave.

"Do you know why I love the myths and the heroes so much, Alexander?" Hephaistion sighed and began not wishing to go round and round again about their day in the cave. But Alexander was never one to be denied.

"Because they have done amazing things?" said Alexander.

"Certainly, but that's not the entire reason. You see the very interesting thing is that you don't know where the truth begins and where the fiction starts. We don't know enough to be sure it all happened that way or not. Myths are mysterious. How can reality become a Myth? What was true and what was untold? That's the mystery about it all. That's what I love."

Alexander's eyes lit up with understanding. He stared at Hephaistion urging him with his eyes to continue.

"You know how much time I spend reading and rereading the myths? Trying to try and search out their source to dig and dig for answers in the words and to know more about it? Alexander it is why this is really quite like work for me. More difficult than most would think because you don't know the exact truth, if you did know the truth, they wouldn't be myths any longer. And at any time people could stop to reading them, but they don't and that's because of our curiosity to know more; that is what keeps them alive."

Alexander paused as he too now had a thought. Hephaistion was a marvel sometimes. So quiet and still yet deep inside him hid so many intricacies. Alexander wondered if he would ever discover them all.

"Is this why? You didn't want to sign your drawing? You desire to become a Myth my Hephaistion?" Alexander teased.

Hephaistion nodded, bashfully. "When I am and I boast of my deeds will you still love me my Alexander?" he batted away the light slap that Alexander had aimed at him settled back against his friends chest and went on. "You are destined for great things Alexander, I know it, and your name will stay forever in history."

Alexander frowned. Destiny, so many tell him of his destiny. Tell him of future greatness, but only the promise of it from Hephaistion's lips seemed to make it real or possible.

"Of course I will, but not without your help."

Hephaistion smiled. He would make sure the prince saw his dreams come true. He would make certain of it even if it cost him his life.

"So Hephaistion, if I understand you, after I die and my name flows on in the great course of history, the people in the future who discover our drawings will wonder who made this with Alexander the Great? Do you like that Hephaistion, Alexander the great?"

Hephaistion nodded as Alexander continued.

"And as they do research, if they are smart and they dig and dig, they will notice the H you put and wonder if the H is for the man who had always been at my side?"

Hephaistion kissed Alexander's hand and drew the prince closer. "Alexander the Great and H the mysterious myth."

" Do not make light of it Hephaistion." Scolded Alexander. "But, then those same people will also always wonder if they are correct or not? And so they will keep digging." He paused, "I see, your very own way to became a Myth by yourself... that's genius Hephaistion."

"You think so Alexander the great?"

Alexander smiled. "I wish you the best Hephaistion. I know you will succeed my love."

"I wish the same for you Alexander."

Bagoas watched as Alexander's face suddenly it up.

"They wonder?" he asked. His eyes now intent on Bagoas. «They wonder about my Hephaistion? Bagoas.»

Bagoas nodded.

Alexander stood up without saying a word. Let Bagoas and the world ask their questions. As far as he was concerned Hephaistion's memory was his and his alone. He would make their digging no easier for them. He crossed to where Hephaistion's statue stood and after studying it for a time he reached out and stroked the cool stone cheek as tenderly as he would have stroked the mans in life. He missed the rasp of stubble that should have caught at his skin. He loved the statue but he hated the coolness of it. It was like the cold that sets in after death. He shuddered and pushed away the thought. He'd have it moved nearer the window, maybe the sun's rays would warm it a bit.

"You did succeed my friend and be sure, I will keep alive your Myth until I finally, gladly join you." He thought. Then he kissed his finger tips and placed them gently to the statue's unyielding lips. "Soon, my Hephaistion, soon."

Epilogue.

No one replaced Hephaistion's place in Alexander's heart, as nobody succeed him as a chilliarch. Hephaistion was dead but he now haunted them. If the men had thought of him a bother in life they now began to see that in death he was a far more dangerous man. In death he was as potentially dangerous as a simple assassin. From death he was slowly killing their king.

Bagoas could do nothing more then witness his beloved king's steady, march to join his beloved.

A mysterious death. Was he murdered? Had he finally destroyed his body to the point a fever defeated the young man? Did the answer truly matter to Bagoas? His king was certainly happier dead than alive, without Hephaistion.

Even as he was taking his last breath, he was holding the general's ring up to the sky, as a last reminder of how important Hephaistion had been to him, of how the only thing that mattered now was the two of them would soon be together again.

It was a sad reminder that Alexander had never belonged to them, but only to his beloved Hephaistion.

With Alexander's death, his legend, his Myth began alongside of Hephaistion's.

End


End file.
